Before I received Jesus Christ. I felt alone there was a piece of me that I felt like something was missing, I felt depressed, anxious, and felt rejected by several people. I’m suffering from PTSD. I felt empty. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose. I felt like I was a disappointment. I had several insecurities. I still suffer from some of these things. I felt like I wasn’t enough.
I grew up from the age of 1 to 6 years old without any holidays. I grew up with no mom in my life she was in and out of my life my whole life. I learned how to cook really young because my dad was at work trying to get money so he could pay bills. We went to church but I didn’t understand what they were talking about and my dad told me I should get baptized and I did but my home life was bad. I grew up in a small community in Conway, Arkansas the trailer park we lived in was 100 Brookside Dr. I grew up my whole life being bullied when I got into the 5th grade I started acting up I had to go to Conway school for an alternative school. I saw my bio mom in the middle of 5th and 6th grade and then she left not even 15 minutes after seeing me and my brothers. When I went to school the next day I went to the 2 story building and was about to jump out the window but someone stopped me. Then I went home that night and tried to hang myself. My life was tough with my bio mom in and out of our lives. I went into a facility for 6 months without talking to my parents for 4 months. It was tough but I tried to stay strong. I came back home and started going to church. I came closer to god when I was 12 and then as I got older my depression got worse but I tried to keep it together but I just came out to God and My family and people I trust I told them about something I’m suffering from PTSD for and no one believed me so I let it all out and started to feel bad and thought that it was my fault because I was sexually abused and to this day I have asked God to help me through this situation. I have tried to end my life 4 times since Christmas of this year. But, one thing I love about this is that I haven’t given up.
Someone shared with me how to have eternal life with Jesus christ
No matter what our story is we know ourselves that Jesus Christ loves us all dearly even after we sin. Hes love is reckless. My momma left me when I was really young. But to this day I still pray that God heals her heart and that she will run to him and ask him for forgiveness! ^_^
Now that I have eternal life with Jesus Christ I am not disappointed, I love myself for who I am and how Jesus made me, I am not so depressed, I have a father to run to, I love others and tell them about christ.
I have not yet given up. I have been hiding my emotions but I talked to someone about how I felt and now I’m helping others that have been through the same thing.
Better yet, the full life that Jesus offers lasts forever. If I were to die right now, I know for certain that i’d be in heaven with God.
